


Just another Lupin/Sirius fanfic

by CarryM



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23342074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarryM/pseuds/CarryM
Summary: Lupin retells how his relationship with Sirius went. Images from their life together.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 3





	1. The best Christmas gift

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't read this. I am very self-conscious about it, but I also want to post it here. I might be a little divided and a little masochistic. I do not think that this story is very original.It is very badly-written and you will probably find it very boring. I mostly use it to practice my English. If you decide to proceed anyway, you have been warned.

Ever since I was four years old and that bastard infected me with lycanthropy, my life wasn’t easy. Being scratched across my face, it was impossible to pretend I wasn’t a werewolf. I won’t lie. I felt sorry for myself. Mothers wouldn’t let their kids play with me; vendors wouldn’t sell me sweets. Everybody was worried I could infect them. So, I learnt to be by myself. To be happy alone.

I didn’t even expect to get my Hogwarts letter. I was pretty sure the headmaster wouldn’t let a wolf child to run around castle with “normal” kids. Imagine my surprise, when I got the letter and, later, got sorted into Gryffindor. I was trying to be the best. When I had to skip classes due to my condition, I put an extra effort on the following ones.

The biggest surprise, however, was when a few kids started hanging around with me. I was happy. Genuinely happy. For the first time in my short life, I actually had friends. I didn’t want more.

When we turned sixteen, in our sixth year, James started dating Lily. She was playing hard to get at first, but she came around. They were so sweet together.

“I wish someone would look at me the way Prongs looks at Lily,” I sighed ready to take on Sirius’s wisecracks. Their lack of surprised me.

“Maybe there is someone…” started Sirius, but never finished his sentence. Severus was coming our way and Padfoot, that jerk, never missed an opportunity to tease him. Only later have I realised, how much that teasing affected Snape.

I was actually really sure who the someone should be. Sirius. I used to steal glances at him over my book, giving him a half-smile when he noticed I was staring. However, I would have to be really stupid or oblivious not to notice the looks our female classmates were giving him. Also, the scars on my face were a constant reminder that no one in their right mind would want to spend their life with me.

Then, on one December evening, still during our sixth year, it was just Sirius and me in the library. I was studying, as per usual, and he was watching me.

“I know what I want as a Christmas present from you,” he started, unusually serious.

“Who says I was planning on giving you anything,” I answered without looking at him.

“Go out with me. This Saturday.”

“We are always hanging out together. I’ve thought you would want something special.”

“Pay attention, Moony. I’ll tell you once more and very slowly. I – want – you – to – go – out – with – me. As a date.” He was smiling his biggest, brightest smile and I am pretty sure my brain just stopped in that moment. For months, I was forbidding myself to even hope for something like that would ever happen. However, as I said my brain totally froze, so the only thing I was able to utter was: “Okay.”

Nevertheless, he was pleased. He stood up and went to the dormitory with the same smile on his face.


	2. The very first date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So they finally went on a date...

The anticipation grew within me. I thought I would explode with it by Saturday. When the day came, I changed my clothes three times, and I scolded myself for being stupid.

“You are just meeting your friend. You know him since forever. If it doesn’t work, you can still go back to being friends.” But looking at my scarred face, I started to doubt myself. “How can you let anyone get close to you? What if you hurt him? What if he realises you really are a monster?”

Anxiety rose in me, but I refused to give up. I took a small giftbox from my drawer and snuck out of the dorm. Sirius was waiting for me near the room of requirement. He let me come close. Then, he caught my hand and intertwined our fingers.

“I am so glad you are here. I was worried you may get second thoughts…. I mean, I am a man after all, and so are you…and you know, with my mother… I thought maybe your parents…. Doesn’t matter. I am rambling. We should go inside.” He opened the door for me.

The room was mostly empty. There was a big garden swing in one corner, and, in the middle of the room, there was a red and white blanket spread out on the ground.

“I thought maybe we could have a picnic in here… I thought it might be romantic. Well, I am not really expert on romantic, but I thought maybe you would like it… Am I talking too much? I am talking too much, aren’t I?” It was precious, seeing Sirius, usually overconfident, stress about basic things. I just smiled.

“I know, you said you wanted just a date as your Christmas present, but I got you something else...” I handed him the small gift box. His grey eyes shone with expectation. He loved surprises.

Tearing the paper off, he opened the box and produced a wooden wolf keychain.

“I’m not really sure you need one, because I know you don’t usually carry any keys around, but it is a small wolf, or you can consider it a dog and have it as a token. I mean, you like dogs. You are a dog after all… See now I am babbling like an idiot,” I whispered and shut my mouth.

“I love it,” he whispered back, looking from the small wolf to me.

Suddenly, I was very aware of our closeness. Yes, we’d stood close before, but always as friends. In that moment, it was different. I would swear I could hear his heart beating. Or maybe it was mine. He pulled me closer. He put one hand on my waist, and he cupped my face with the other one. I was looking him in the eyes. Our lips touched. It only lasted couple of seconds, but, simultaneously, it felt like the time has stopped.

“I wanted to do this for so long,” he whispered when we parted. “It wasn’t weird, was it?” I would give anything to have a photo of overly confident Sirius Black in that moment. Doubting himself. He was even cuter than usual.

“No, not at all.” We sat down. There was a ton of my favourite snacks and two cups of butterbeer. “How long did you want to do that?” I asked.

“I like you since forever. You were so smart and brave, even in the first year, even though you had this horrible condition and your mother is a muggle. I knew right away I wanted to be your friend. Last year, I realized I like you more than just any friend, when I fell from the broom during the match with Slytherin. The only thing that came to my mind was that I would never get to see you again, if I died. Then I remembered James. And HE is my best friend… When I woke up a week later, there you were. All four of you. And for the first time in my life I wasn’t confident enough…. Anyhow, I noticed you stealing glances at me during classes… I got the idea that maybe you like me, too.” He was holding my hand the whole time.

“I remember that fall. I thought you wouldn’t make it. You were unconscious for a week. I was scared I would never hear your stupid jokes again,” I smiled.

After we ate almost everything, he was laying in my lap and I was playing with his hair.

“I am so glad you asked me on a date,” I said.

“I am so glad you said yes –“ he sat up abruptly “- I mean look at yourself. Smart. Kind. Pretty. You are a real catch.” _Pretty_. That word resonated with me. Never have I thought I was pretty, my scarred face considered. Unconsciously, I touched my face.

“I love you face. Wouldn’t change one bit of it.” He came closer and kissed me again.

“It’s hard to believe it.”

“Besides, if your face was scarless, you would have had a girlfriend by now. And then I would never stand a chance,” he smiled with his widest smile.

“Jerk,” I said with a smirk and punched him in the arm. “Let’s head back before we get in trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to upload two chapters right away, because I am new here.


	3. A quarrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a discussion whether to tell their friends or not

I had always been very protective about the people I cared for. So, when the next full moon approached, we started to quarrel. I didn’t want him to spend the night with me. I was glad the boys turned themselves into animals to help me survive my changes, but I was worried I might hurt them. Every time.

“I don’t want to accidentally kill you. I would never forgive myself,” I tried reasoning with him.

“Don’t be stupid, Remus. We’ve done this a thousand times. We’ve spent countless nights together. Besides, we haven’t told Wormtail and Prongs about us. How would you explain me not going to them?” He was all smug and self-confident.

“Maybe….” I started, but he wouldn’t let me finish.

“Maybe nothing. I am not letting you alone during the full moon. Not last month, not tomorrow, not next month, not ever. Moreover now, when I finally confessed. I don’t want you to feel alone, to go through that shit alone, again. You told us how it felt before we came along, I remember. I don’t want you to ever feel like that again. You are not a monster.” He had that half crazy look on his face.

“You can be so unbelievably stubborn!” I spread my hands in exasperation.

“That’s why you love me,” he smirked and came closer to me.

“I do. I actually, truly, love you.” I leaned against his palm on my cheek.

“See, now we just have to tell the others.” He kissed me swiftly. Just a soft brush of his lips on mine, but it was enough to send my heart racing.

“How did this quarrel become a discussion about us, telling them?” Joy in his eyes was shining brighter than the sun.

“Imagine James, when he realizes that my better half is actually better than his better half!” Smile spread across his face.

“I suppose I won’t convince you to stay here tomorrow night?” I sighed.

“Nope. Never in a million years.” He winked.

“Then, let me take you to the great hall for dinner, you prat.” I bowed a little.

“My pleasure, Moony,” he answered and so we went. 

***

We told others about us after a month. They weren’t surprised. Actually, James claimed he had noticed the way we had been staring at each other when we thought the other wasn’t looking. He found it hilarious.

“I can imagine it now. Moony and Pads raising a small pack of dogs together. Charming,” he said, and Sirius awarded him a punch and a witty remark for that.

Lily was just happy for us. She said that we deserve each other. I considered getting pretend offended, because Sirius could be unbelievably annoying and stubborn. Then, I remembered his kind and generous side, which he showed publicly less often.

Wormtail really didn’t say much. He was never the one to speak his mind loudly. Usually, he just adapted.

The life was great. For the first time in my life, I was really happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, if you read this:
> 
> Hello there! 
> 
> So this is my first fanfic ever. It is a part of a longer story. I am planning to post short chapters (usually around 500 words) every week, maybe more often.  
> Obviously, some facts in this story aren't in accordance with canon, because I wanted them to fit into my perspective, but I understand it is okay to change some facts in fanfic, so, please forgive me any discrepancies. 
> 
> Also, English isn't my first language, but I try my best, so please forgive me some grammar and stylistic mistakes that may occur.


End file.
